Exercises To Prepare for Mediation
Black and white photo of a foot bridge spanning out into a white horizon.
Congratulations—both you and the party with whom you are in dispute have decided to enter into mediation. In order to make the most of your time with the mediator, it’s important to be prepared. Here are five “rules of thumb” to help facilitate the mediation relationship.
Practice openness to the unexpected. Oftentimes mediation can surface new information or facts that were perhaps unknown to you. Try to re-frame the unexpected as an opportunity to reduce or eliminate future problems.
Bring your best listening skills. When in conflict, active listening can easily go out the window. But during mediation, you will be asked to calmly and respectfully listen to the other person’s concerns (and so will they when it’s your turn to speak). Aim to focus on the shared problem at hand—not your grievances with the other person. The mediator will help facilitate this process if you get stuck.
Embrace imagination. Spend some time thinking through possible options, alternatives and "what ifs" in advance. The solutions arrived at during mediation oftentimes are richer and more varied than what a traditional adjudicator or litigator may suggest if presented with your dispute. Use your imagination to think creatively and consider how roadblocks may actually be opportunities.
Be self-aware. Being in conflict with another can bring out negative emotions and behaviors. It’s key to keep in mind that mediation is not well-served by many tactics borrowed from litigation and the courtroom. Consider how you would personally react to what you are planning to do. Invite an open awareness of how you are perceived and how your presentation of a position welcomes or impedes dialogue.
Remember mediation is a team endeavor, not a spectator sport. You’ll be encouraged during mediation to collaboratively craft a solution that you and the other party can live with. Consider the unique abilities of the other party to shape and play a pivotal role during mediation proceedings. Together—with the help of the mediator—you can arrive at a creative solution.